Carpe diem

Trip planning

2012-02-14T11:02:00.001-08:00

Trip planning has always been nerve-racking... Hopefully everything will turn out smooth.

Work hard for this sem, n get a good vacation? Keke..

Korea~ Tianjin ~ Qingdao ~ Beijing ~

Nvr realize it is so hard to get into china.

Who ask us to balik china ! U think it's so easy ? :p

hold on!

2012-02-09T08:33:00.001-08:00

Saw this pic in fb~
It actually depicts my daily mood now

Just hold on, soon it will be summer!

Like many events in life, sometimes we just need to hold on,
Who knows what will happen next?

:)

错误

2012-02-08T05:09:00.000-08:00

总觉得

他总反复做着错误的决定

或许

我也是其中之一吧。

Start of a new sem

2012-02-06T07:09:00.000-08:00

Like to start new sem with new mood. :)

Although it's pretty much freezing cold to go to class. -20 , brr...

"project wrapped myself up like a bak zhang"

I guess it's not the time not to look bulky n all...

Stay warm is much more important.

Glad to catch up with friends that went for vacation too.

:)

梦想

2012-02-04T21:39:00.000-08:00

想拥有白色的家~

Sunny winter morning

2012-02-04T00:20:00.000-08:00

Wrapped up myself before setting foot outside

It wasn't as cold as I hv expected though.

A sunny, non windy, serene day :)

Was looking for that homeless old lady

Wonder how did she make it through this winter

Mommy said I shud show kindness to her.

I was afraid to reach out to her . Somehow.

But she wasn't there anymore..
Hopefully nth bad happened to her

I hv this thought.
Although it might not b a good one

When someone is already in dementia
Is her life still important..
She practically dun und things around her already

Why would I think like tat
Any life on earth is equally important.
Or at least it shud be,

闲

2012-02-03T08:11:00.000-08:00

可以
再忙一点吗。

就不会
惦记着

不该想的事。

变数

2012-01-31T09:34:00.001-08:00

我不喜欢变数
事情没跟着计划中进行
就会觉得

烦躁
不安

可世界唯一不变的事
就是改变

得认命啊~

Sochi

2012-01-30T09:12:00.000-08:00

An adventurous trip I would say

Some near death experience

Glad that came back in one piece..

May b I'm really not that kinda person who loves speed n excitement?

良师

2012-01-18T08:08:00.000-08:00

读着肝炎
想着大三的讲师

虽然他已过世

但他依然活在我们的脑海中吧
人生

若能在他人脑海中留下印象
也不算白活了吧。

安息，老师。

Yoga

2012-01-17T02:47:00.000-08:00

今天好想听他的歌。

:)

2012-01-09T11:33:00.000-08:00

总是有一瞬间
觉得
能focus了

然后
又开始在网上乱按

给自己
说声
加油吧

Needed

2012-01-07T01:13:00.000-08:00

May b
I just wanna feel
Tat I'm needed

Not a burden to anyone
To society

Wanna bcome someone
Useful

Aim for 2012?

:)

Happy new year

2012-01-04T06:44:00.000-08:00

The fact is
I wanted to create a new blog
N
Just forget bout this one

But no one can just erase her past.

Study before it's too late...
Study mode on?

家

2011-12-10T23:44:00.000-08:00

并不是聊得来，就适合在一起；
并不是适合，就能够在一起；
并不是能够在一起就会永远在一起；
也并不是永远在一起了就会幸福的。

透过视频
看着家
看着爸妈
笑着

心想
我放弃的
就是为了你们
脸上的笑容吧。

Sis, u there

2011-10-25T02:16:00.001-07:00

11pm
Just when I decided to close my book n call it a day
My little boy find me in fb
He didn't do well in his exam.
Well, I would say the marking system is really crazy.
A-93, ab-88-90 anything less than 75 is fail

He got a B. Average.
He said he dun wan to b average.
He has nvr been average.

Sigh...
Indeed, sometimes to get wat we want, average is not enough.

Hv I ever forgotten tat. N content to b an average.

I picked up my book ag after talking to him.

Wat is the purpose of life actually.

22 October

2011-10-22T07:30:00.001-07:00

22 October
2008 the beginning
2009 the first celebration
2010 it lost its meaning
2011 it's too late when I turn back.

Quote for the day: if it's ur karma why I hv to be the one who pay.
Yes indeed, sorry for dragging u into lots of trouble consciously n subconsciously. “It’s like screaming and no one can hear. You always feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, but nothing can save you. And when it’s over, and it’s gone, you almost wish you could have all that bad stuff back so you could have the good.”— Rihanna, We Found Love

The encounter

2011-10-21T06:17:00.001-07:00

Urgh.. Just as I happily declared tat i could redo my spec for free.

It's s trap!!!

I ended up in the optika today being told tat I have to pay half price for it!

Seriously..

Russia is a zoo.

They have no sense of customer service. None.

Lessons of the day:
1. Stop losing things
2. Stop trusting Russian

当

2011-10-20T08:19:00.001-07:00

当无所不谈

变成处处地雷

从熟悉变陌生

累了

而我的你

已不在。

Someone

2011-10-17T09:19:00.001-07:00

He reminds me of someone.

Reality

2011-10-15T08:07:00.001-07:00

Day by day, reality struck me.

As I'm listening to my fren telling me bout her fren whose husband is a Indian-Malay, demand the nurse o whoever in the birthcert department to state his child race as Malay.
So tat it will b easier for the future, to get scholarship n all.

I appreciate her friendship with me, but then, it really hurts me in a way.

Ya, so what if u are a not a pure malay. U still get all the perks. What do u mean by bumiputera then.

Why shud we b discriminated in this way.

Time to leave?

Questions

2011-10-12T10:01:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it's better not to ask question, if u r not prepared to listen to the answers.

Russia

2011-10-11T09:39:00.001-07:00

How is it like studying in Russia ~

Looking at my Russian text book.
Trying to memorize all the criteria.
Group mate throw book, talking to others: u think with this book u can work in Malaysia? I just wanna go back n start working!

Sigh.
What hv constant doubt did to our mind?

To b a good doctor? I really hope I would.

晴

2011-10-10T05:41:00.001-07:00

Today I learnt that I was nvr alone.
Someone understand how I felt perfectly.
Time to focus on other priorities in life.

Doctora~
Someday I've to live up to this title.

Autumn is a beautiful season.

2011-10-07T08:59:00.001-07:00

Dear heart,
Wat do u wan in ur life?

2011-10-06T09:02:00.001-07:00

Quote for the day

2011-10-05T08:29:00.001-07:00

2011-10-04T07:48:00.001-07:00

i like this pink.
gloomy day today~i curled up in my bed.
thinking of things i shudn't b thinking of.

One day I wud stop staring at the phone waiting.

embrace the past

2011-10-03T08:13:00.001-07:00

Imperfect love

2011-10-01T18:56:00.001-07:00

Life is imperfect.
But that's not the reason to hate it, isn't it.
For each imperfection makes us unique
In our very own way.

I hv a big smile yesterday :D
Thx frens.

Those 4 words. If you YouTube it. You would find the answer.

2011-09-29T19:19:00.001-07:00

一件事，就算再美好，一旦没有结果，就不要再纠缠，久了你会倦，会累；一个人，就算再留念，如果你抓不住，就要适时放手，久了你会神伤，会心碎。有时，放弃是另一种坚持，你错失了夏花绚烂，必将会走进秋叶静羌。任何事，任何人，都会成为过去，不要跟它过不去，无论多难，我们都要学会抽身而退。

早上看了这些话
放弃
真的是一种坚持吗

2011-09-26T04:17:00.001-07:00

难过的是被遗忘吧。如果下一世再遇见你结局会是怎样。

晨

2011-09-23T22:33:00.001-07:00

晨，独自喝杯咖啡，看书，或许很做作，但我总得学会怎么和自己相处，以前一直靠你，因为当世界只剩我一个，我会不知所措，佛说：世界上除了你自己，没有任何人更值得你的爱，先得学会爱自己。正要回家时，隔壁的俄罗斯人，竟然跟我炫耀他的LV 包，男生！这国家的人难道都被酒精毒坏脑了吗。。。对我而言，风度永远胜于一身铜臭。

2011-09-22T08:07:00.001-07:00

又好像把最重要的事给忘了。电话号码换了又换，忘了告诉爸，让他担心了。。唉，我怎么那么不孝。。振作振作，向前看！

2011-09-15T10:59:00.000-07:00

女孩别笨了。
变了的心，就再也回不来了。

活着这一刻就好~
一切都会好好的。

窒息

2011-09-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

能不能把记忆删了。

才不会觉得

一切

多么的讽刺

收起你的假好心，假亲切，

荒谬的开始，

换来荒谬的结束。

这城市

果然令人窒息。

我说我不懂爱

人说真爱至死不渝

还不是人们寂寞想找个人陪。

needs

2011-08-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

as a child,
hv i forgot that everything i have, given by my parents,
r not granted..
they r indeed blessings n love from my parents..

i shud be content with what i have.
if i wan more,
it should be from my own effort.

as papa said,
i hv so much more that he didn't have at my age.

Oh another morning

2011-06-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

Woke up. Messy hair. Eh. I'm still here.
Dreamt tat I was home already last night.
Sigh.

4 more battles to go

planning

2011-05-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

clock is ticking.
not even one month b4 exam..

need plans..plans...

tat's not me

2011-05-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

活着
不就是该不停的创造新回忆，经验吗。。
为何
要把自己限制在一个框框里

挑一件不常穿的衣服
做一些从没尝试过的事情

听说521就末日
还在等什么啊。。
哈哈

从未看过这种花~ 整整齐齐并列的小铃，好喜欢。。

年华

2011-03-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

五年过了，又五年
该如何活得灿烂
让生命
不留白

最近常想
这一刻
拥有的
哪怕
下一刻
找也找不回

失去
也不过如此吧。

homeless~

2011-01-18T12:22:00.000-08:00

every now and then.
life throws u question.
to make u choose.

there is a homeless old woman downstairs now, saying smth like she couldn't contact her sister here, and she came from other rayon.
she pledged for one night stay.
but it's just too .
too..
scary?

isn't this one of the main disadvantage of urbanisation.
separation of ppl.
walls between walls.
i dun even know wat's my neighbours' name.
u?

i suggested her to go to the police..
although she talked a lot, i couldn't quite understand all.
something bout police just wan money..

how bout goin to church?
there is a church nearby.
she said there is no water there.
well. tat doesn't really make sense to me. but.. hurm. i dunno..

she is still there.
sitting/standing..

we gave her tea and bread..

we learn medicine.
humanity.

yet, i just left her there..

2010-12-03T09:45:00.000-08:00

feels like i'm walking in a circle.

Urself

2010-11-17T09:56:00.000-08:00

When thr is no one there for you. There is still u, urself.

When the one you could trust is no longer there. It's ok. U still hv urself.

2010-11-07T08:24:00.001-08:00

剪不断，理还乱。

more~

2010-11-06T03:55:00.000-07:00

there ought to b smth more meaningful in this world

the next chapter.

长大

2010-11-01T01:55:00.000-07:00

世界
并不单纯
没有好人或坏人
之中参差不齐的
灰色地带徘徊的
多的是

你和我
也别把自己想得那么好

我的避风港
似乎已被污染

有些人觉得他们为了正义而发言
或许
旁人只觉得
一只恶魔化身的狗
乱吠

谁是谁非啊。。

procrastinating~

2010-10-31T03:20:00.000-07:00

i've longed to take photos with those autumn leaves~
day by day,
i c them getting less and less..
hurm..

need to get my priority straight ag.
n check list needed..
so tat i won't spend my time away watching "rubbish" show.. haha...

my current wallpaper, credit to Ethan ~

the advantages of having lots of ppl owning dslr around u: you can always find urself a nice wallpaper. keke..
* owning dslr plus having some artistic sense, since owning dslr doesn't make u a photographer, wahahah...

obstetrics cycle~
please b interesting, i'm so bored over radio n hygiene d...

wild dreams

2010-10-16T09:29:00.001-07:00

u know there is a wild dream of mine~

tat volgogradian will actually held each celebration together~

not malays for raya, chinese for cny n indians for deepavali~

but all msians involved in cooking, preparing, and presenting the celebration~

yada..
i know.. it's hard..

:(

Your Mother - Adolf Hitler

2010-10-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

When your mother has grown older,
When her dear, faithful eyes
No longer see life as they once did,
When her feet, grown tired,
No longer want to carry her as she walks,
Then lend her your arm in support, escort her with happy pleasure -
the hour will come when, weeping, you must accompany her on her final walk.
And if she asks you something, then give her an answer.
And if she asks again, then speak!
And if she asks yet again, respond to her, not impatiently, but with gentle calm.
And if she cannot understand you properly, explain all to her happily.
The hour will come, the bitter hour, when her mouth asks for nothing more.

Adolf Hitler, May 1923

2010-09-16T06:09:00.000-07:00

路边
不被呵护
也可以
活的
茁壮
漂亮~

cold

2010-09-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

after years
he's still tat kinda guy
cold n unapproachable.

2010-09-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

used to b the best of me around you

now,
you could only see the worst of me

how ironic
this world could be

分

2010-09-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

不谈，
过去还或许
可以留在
记忆的某个角落

执著的想知道
为什么
为什么不可以
为什么一定要这样

结局
也只有撕破脸

算了吧
有些东西
没能力
挽回

国庆

2010-08-31T03:34:00.000-07:00

又是国庆

我爱这国家吗？

家，应该是不被排斥，
感觉最安稳的地方

往往
看着种种报导
这真的是我的家吗？

赵明福到现在还无法伸冤。。
当校长事件搞得闹哄哄的，
首相，说了什么吗？

Puteri UMNO 嚷着要 namewee 关起来，
校长的事情呢？
你们可没说什么。。

我到底属于哪里？

"The Buddhist Attitude to Sensuality" by Ajahn Brahm

2010-08-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

the pre meds~

2010-08-27T09:01:00.001-07:00

owh the pre med~
dreaming bout the future..
being all optimistic..
saying it depends on me not the uni~

=.="
n i was one of them.

dunno how to talk to a junior..
i hv owez heard senior saying y choose russia, y choose russia..
n now when i finally stepping into my 4th year.
i kinda get wat they mean.

tired of being thrown in class without teacher..
thinking tat we pay money for them to drink coffee..
thinking tat we r just wasting time here...
scare of the future all the time (owh may b tat just me..)
scare of telling local doctors, i'm from Russian university..

how could i tell her, my dear,
it's better to choose other university.

this place changed me for sure..
the life experience i gained here..
how cruel ppl can b towards foreigner..
there r kind ones too, but the cruel one just scarred our hearts..

how i used to think i could conquer the world.
well not literally, i'm just saying bout the ambitious me then.
which is not here anymore.

do u think i'll find her back one day?

Day1

2010-08-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

Day 1- Starting to read for usmle. Dunno how to read but I guess I'll start with my usmle step 1 first aid .

Having heat surge now.
It happens when I think bout usmle.
Mom said it's stress.. Well, I just need to get familiarize with it.

Reached

2010-08-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

So here I am.. Waking up too early in my Russian apartment.

I've talked with him last nite, I hope I really make it clear this time.
I dun wanna fight. I dun wanna lie anymore.
Even if it costs me my own happiness.
Just be it.
I dun wanna c another stream of tears down my mom's cheek.

But I got really upset when ppl telling me "Be good."
Am I bad just bcoz I was in love with someone who is socially unacceptable?

Urgh.. Selfish ppl who just think of himself.

梦

2010-08-16T02:29:00.000-07:00

午觉
梦

梦见自己和家人
在游乐场
玩得很开心
冲到好高好高的
地方
看着
烟花

虽然是梦
也觉得很美

梦醒
又感慨
好像得回去了
但非常期待新年
又可以回来

旅游
好像跟家人相比
也不过如此

爱人和家人
家人永远得优先

说我无情也好
我得保护
我的家

曾经

2010-08-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

曾经,你说过
和前女友分手后
只想放纵自己..

如今呢?
选择的
还是放纵吗?

接下来的日子
你
好好过
好吗?

life

2010-08-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

so much happening around..

felt like it's not the time for me to think for myself..

just so much things around...

亲爱的

2010-08-07T19:05:00.000-07:00

亲爱的,
没想到我还不能习惯不这样叫你

但是该改的,都得改

现在我活在家的保护网内,
活得好好的

每一天都觉得
把时间排得满满的

回去后
一个人
我才会慢慢被失去你的现实
侵蚀
吗..

我为我的不再伤心而感到懊恼
是我爱得不够深吗

你还好吗?

今天
没吃早餐
胃痛到呕

第一时间
还是想
告诉你..
但是

说放手
就真的得放

我
没资格
再缠着你

希望我们
都能放下吧..

murder

2010-08-03T04:17:00.000-07:00

of love
hatred
guilt
contradiction
confuse
promises

i think i'm killin my parents.

n they r killing me.

wat a life.

thanks for the memories.

2010-08-01T02:55:00.001-07:00

n then there r memories.

n future.

n heartache..

n choices..

thinking bout revenge..

thinking bout let karma do its things.

thinking bout wat if it's good karma for him..

thinking bout even if i know he's not wrong, but still have such a strong desire to slap him over n over ag..

thinking bout life is not worth living.

for no one is an individual.

thinking bout yang.

thinking how sad it wud all b.. if it wasn't already sad enuf..

well..

much sadder it wud b.

thinking bout his life...

his parents..

n the cute sisters...

esp the singing one.

i've nvr met u. but i guess i won't.

n ag. the road not taken.

home

2010-07-28T03:55:00.001-07:00

终于回到家了..
经过在机场漫长的等待,
一下飞机,
看到爸爸,妈妈,姐姐, 弟弟
有时在家蹦蹦跳跳时
也会想着说,是真的吗?我真的回来了吗..

有时会会想起那
刚去世的学弟
虽然不算认识

但难免惊叹
人生苦短
想做什么就做什么

但似乎
活着的当下
就得为周遭的人
思考
毕竟
我们人
一个人是活不下来的.

欺山莫欺水

周六
想了想
游泳应该蛮适合老爸的
全家人去游泳
但其实我和弟弟
超怕水的
旱鸭子..

结果当天
我学了些
弟弟也学了些

待会儿
全家人要去泰国了
这星期全家人一起放假
^^

这
就是所谓的
天伦之乐吧..

desire

2010-07-15T08:52:00.001-07:00

oh, wouldn't u just go away.

oh ya, i hv vincent constantly in my mind as well..

love the moment, where i could listen to vincent, stare at the sky, partially covered by leaves, when i strolled along the avenue.

cammie..

2010-07-11T22:33:00.000-07:00

i think volgo is saturated with dslr, dun u think. keke..

my olympus din serve me well.. :(
tat's why i keep thinking wanna buy a new one.
but how good i wan it to be, hurm, tat remains a prb to be pondered upon.

of wat i luv the most bout photos. r those happily smiling photos. children, families.
but come to think of it, instead of enjoying tat moment, isn't it weird having a camera snapping around , or waiting behind the lense waiting for tat moment.
hurm.. may b tat's wat photographer up to.

so. shud i just choose another compact. which DUN take blurry pictures. NO hefty price tag. N reasonably small.

LX3 seems too big for tat.
FP1 sooo cheap, i'm sceptical. haha..
but the pink one looks very cute.

wat to choose wat to choose.

tired.

2010-07-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

tired.
one minute ago stomach was growling for food.
when finish cooking, eating not even half of it, too tired to eat d.
>.<

i guess the tiredness came from the tremendously time wasting procedure in dekanat....
DUH~

if u think tat u can just come here n get a degree, then do post grad in dunno where somemore, then working in the place u wan, think ag.

i will not come here to study if i wud hv chosen ag.
read my words.
will not.

but since i'm here, i won't b complaining, bcoz tat's just pointless.
but i was just injected with too much negativity today.
>.<

dean office,
nvr a good place.
hours of waiting.
standing.
translating.
stuttering.
passing from secretary to assistant1 to assistant2 to prorector to another department back to prorector.
in the end, dun even know i could get it done o not.
*pray pray*
must get it done.

shud i b worried for my future.
i am.
everytime make up my mind to start reading.
then puff, 5 minutes later, doing other useless things ag.
USELESS THINGS like watching USELESS SHOW aka kangxi, n other taiwan talkshow shown in youtube.

ok. i'll tried read smth tonite.
*promise* since i already finish watching kangxi . haha.

n u,
thanks for accompanying me the whole afternoon. ^^

ok. off to facebook n book. haha.

下一次

2010-07-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

下一次合照
会是什么时候
还有
下一次吗？

离开家
离开姐姐
在这寒冷的土地上
总算找到几位姐姐

如今却又目送他们
各奔前程

没哭
朋友
不一定得时时刻刻
在一起

只求偶尔
他人会想起
那也就够了。

散

2010-06-27T19:25:00.000-07:00

天下无不散的宴席

一个人在家
不是怕
而是
心里无比的感慨
过去
听到的声音
已不再
就只剩下一堆书
和我
就只剩下宁静
和我

别想了
一旦哭了
又得收拾心情读书
yijia, yim
谢谢你们一路来得照顾
衷心祝福你们
前途似锦

幸福小女人^^

你曾經如此對待父母嗎？

2010-06-21T00:20:00.000-07:00

不知道为什么，每次看到有关爸妈和孩子的短片，都会忍不住掉眼泪。。
大概是离乡的小孩比较容易感触吧。。

在家的我会不会那么爱爸爸妈妈，不懂诶。。。
至少我老实吧。。。
在身边的，我们往往会忽略。。

但我希望我会真的成为一位孝女。。
在家时，弟弟如果和爸爸有何口角，
我都会告诉弟弟，
你就让让爸爸吧。。

弟弟说，你一年才在家一两个月，不会理解。。。
>.<
无言啊。。
只希望以后你往外飞后，
会更珍惜家里。。
而不是越飞越远。。

父亲节快乐。。

振作振作

2010-06-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

打起精神来好吗？
哈哈。。。
还有两张paper 而已。。
可是竟然如此颓废。。
满脑子都是
考完事后我要。。。。
超多的。
考完后我将从单人床upgrade双人床，哇哈哈。。
hurm, 会不会睡到整个人便成双人床的size... =.="
要选床单^^ 不过还没概念，所以常常读到一半想些有的没的。。

昨天七早八早去跑步，结果走路比较多吧。。
不知道是没吃早餐，
还是体力真的减半了。。
考完试要天天跑。。

patphys 考试还蛮恐怖的，
patanat 得加很多油。。。

can't decide

2010-06-10T04:58:00.001-07:00

well.. just finish 1/5 of exams~
4 more to go.. ^^

but another matter just seem to stuck in my head...
USMLE..

mommy said take it, for better future..

my heart said.. y u wanna take it?

i've ZERO interest in taking it right now..
spend another dunno how many years in a totally different country again?
>.<
so, let say i pass my Step 1 and Step 2,
the aim for ppl to take USMLE is to work in US isn't it..
if i dun wanna work in US,
why should i take it then?
working there until i bcome a specialist then only go back..

why that thought keep scaring me~
why so...
why..

studying?

2010-06-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

studying?

...
....
erk, minutes later.. haha...

anyway, thru out these few days of studying n sleeping mode..
kinda hv this crazy tot to tell the truth ..

well.. depends whether i still hv the guts after this long summer month~

2010-06-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

写了四行英文文字
又全删了
哈哈
还是华文表达能力好些
细腻
感情

读书读得闷荒了
拿起电话
咔嚓
惊觉
咦，这不是我妈吗？
哈哈
从小都觉得我象爸
结果
脸果然会变
哈哈

昨天和妈妈
谈了一些
妈说
你长大了

对我而言
这是一个多大的肯定
可以和妈妈谈心
可以开解妈妈
可以让妈妈不把一切闷在心里

我想
这就是佛书对我们的影响吧~

好，得回归医书了。。
T.T

2010-05-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

n i shall name u mochi cheesecake.. haha...

the truth

2010-05-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

wat's the truth..

regarding the shooting of Aminulrasyid back in Msia..
well, honestly, first come to my mind is, why is a 15 years old driving a car?

n then bla, bla, bla, clash with motorcycles, overtake police's car..
although it is a pity to hv an "innocent" 15 years old shot dead by the police, i think i still root for the police. for now.

i mean, how do u expect the police to react, when the suspect decided to fled even though the tyres r shot?

pardon me for my nil knowledge bout police's protocol to shoot, but the parents, dun u think that letting ur 15 years old child drive is almost like sending him to die?
obviously, he is not capable of handling unexpecting situations like this.

haiz.. chaos.. chaos..

being a doc

2010-05-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

Being a doctor is a feat. The profession requires higher selflessness, purity of thought and aspiration. Not everybody is capable of being a doctor

by Anton Checkhov

The student must understand this from the very start to prepare himself for a life of hard labour and anxiety. But this life gives moral satisfaction that can hardly be given by any other profession.

Indeed..
I should always remind myself about that..
n u too, my fellow frens, the aspiring doctors.

恢复

2010-04-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

朋友们都回来了

有的好像魂还没回来
自闭般

唉，算了吧
等她慢慢回魂吧。。

生病的也快回来上课吧。。
少个人
总是怪怪的。

不久后就是大大小小的考试。。
该好好珍惜现在闲着的时间呢。
还是准备考试

累
玩得累
哈哈

monday

2010-04-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

at last, it's our group to hv operative practise..
yes..
kinda feel my adrenaline pumpin thru out the whole session. haha..
well, i volunteered to b the nurse.. well rather reluctantly.. but teacher dun wan guys to b nurse, so 2 girls left..
no one wants to b nurse one la, everyone think themselves as surgeon. lol..
so, might as well just save everyone's time n volunteer.

i was thinking tat, haiz, i won't b touching anything d...
but, luckily, there were just 4 of us, so, still get the chance to stitch apart from doing nurse things..
^^

feel sorry for the cat though..
but then...
wat else we r goin to practise on then..

kitty, hope u get well soon..
dun hate us please.......................
feel so bad..
n yet..
there is a sense of accomplishment..

累

2010-04-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

坐在床上抱着电脑

是我的在家清醒时80% 的动作吧。。

怎么今天那么累

高跟鞋变松了。

象踩高跷般回家。。

觉得好像女人

算了呗

明天还是当个矮人族吧。。

那天量体高

我竟然才

161cm

不是163 吗？

伤心

2cm 有差，好不好。。

明天，

会伤心吗？

前阵子觉得会

今天觉得不会

反正不会大哭就对了

噢

为什么？

没什么

因为我较冷血

别人听我刚才说的那席话

会有多伤

你不同

总接受我的一切

拿不拿金牌回来

没差

只希望你玩的开心。。

开心就好

不想

2010-04-13T02:23:00.000-07:00

不想

变成自己也讨厌的自己。。

讽刺

2010-04-11T02:40:00.000-07:00

看着手术台上的她。。

觉得很可怜。。。

背负着身心的痛，

昨天被锯掉的左腿

没有好转

还得赤裸裸的面对

至少20位医学生。。

那时候的她

在想些什么

在忏悔自己为什么抽了那么多年的烟吗？

还是在埋怨着上天。。

总好奇人

为什么会选择性的去做对自己有害的东西。。

听说电话放在身边睡觉不好。。

还是放在身边。。

闹钟嘛。。

课堂上似乎多数的疾病，

兜兜转转，

抽烟不是其原因，

就是risk factor,

在手术室的同学，

在向旁人说解之余，

朋友问，

那你还继续抽烟吗？

无意间听到的回答

是

她是chronic smoker,

和我不一样。。

看吧。。

人想做的事。。

怎可能找不到借口

但其实

命似乎

也不是我们主宰的

有人抽了四，五十年的烟。。

身体好的很呢。。

有人健健康康的活着

一场车祸，就结束了。。

做人

未免也太讽刺了吧。。

手术台上的她。。

如果人生重来

会选另一条路吗。

待着

2010-03-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

写部落格的矛盾，应该就是在于想写，但又不想把自己的思想赤裸裸的放在全世界的眼前吧。。

但我就是喜欢写我说不出的东西。。人，事，物。。

喜欢写人与人之间的互动。。

友情，感觉上已离我好远了。。

又或许我把友情太过理想化。。

喜欢一个人待着

但却害怕寂寞

msn的存在，让我可以和遥远的朋友掏心掏肺，

哈哈。。

原来，

我是属于适合远距离友情的人吗。。

自从吃了维他命后，感觉应付课业，

轻易多了。。

之前还蔑视老师所谓的春天会hypovitaminosis这回事。。

我真的把她所说的当笑话看。。

看来，

长者所说的

真的是句句良言。。

和他则。。。

不知怎么说。。。

就常常觉得他做的事，

总会惹到我。。

虽然过不久还是会嘻嘻哈哈的当没事。。

冷静后的我知道，

他并没错。。。

但，

这些小小，小小的摩擦，

一天天堆积下来。。

还得了吗。。。

不想连最后一个可以倾诉的人

都因为自己想疏远

而慢慢生疏。。

没交流

就没口角

就不必觉得不开心

就自己一个人

待着。。。

火花

还在吗。。

多么灿烂美丽的瞬间，

也只有那瞬间吗。。

烟花凋零那一刻。。

心情

该是怎样的。。

心

满满的回忆着那美丽的瞬间

还是

灰灰的，就这样，没了吗？

love life

2010-03-02T07:03:00.000-08:00

life is good...

haha, it's not like i hv total freedom, but just suddenly remembered what my mom told me..

one problem knocked down.. yes... found a future housemate..

so for the time being, everything seems a little bit smoother..

hv been struggling awhile whether to get ipod touch, i know.. ppl around me probably getting so bored from listening to it..

but I've decided to get one..

Hv to wait till july to hold it in my hand though...

it's ok.. the feeling to finally making tat decision makes my brain slightly lighter~

so task No. 2 knocked down~

wee~

task No. 3: pharmaco.... will hv enough time to revise until friday.. at least tat's what i think..

haha..

task No. 4: is there any? lol...

mommy, i miss the way u said life is good..

it just calms me down..

cheers everyone.. ^^

the starting of 2nd sem

2010-02-12T09:04:00.000-08:00

came back from uk~

one of the places i really love would b hyde park..

it's freaking big, n relaxing..

see, i'm sooo small compare to tat tree...

wouldn't it be nice to see more of those trees around..

the visit to stonehenge too, well it wasn't really the stones that attract me, it's rather the vast field surrounding it,

with lots of sheeps,

they just look so cute for me, like many many little cotton balls on the field..

my own little sheep, keke.. souvenir for myself from scotland..

scotland highland view is breathtaking as well,

but most of the time we were just sitting in the van,

hmph...

i wan to climb the mountain..or ben, in scottish language.. keke..

i'm not a very atheletic girl..

but i really always hv this kinda thought,

to climb mount kinabalu,

to go jungle trekking...

when will i fulfill these dreams of mine..

u might not believe when i say this,

but wat i hope to get from my travel trips really it's NOT bout shopping..

i just want to see the magnificent work of mother nature..

next stop.. which i really hope to go...

Greece..

useless

2010-01-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

just witnessed 3 big dogs biting smth ..
i refer it as smth bcoz tat time i hv no idea whether it's a cat or a dog, or watever it is..
i was at my room.. 2nd floor ..
n i just froze there.. in my mind keep having the thoughts of u hv to go.. if u go u'll probably being bitten urself..
i am not a big fans of animal, moreover 3 big ferocious dogs..

n there was someone there.. honkin their car, trying to scare the dogs away..
n then i went to find my housemate, by tat time.. the dogs r gone..
but that poor thing is lying there on the snow.. not moving..

we just stood there n watched..
wat to do??
bring it back??
then wat?
the guy hover around the cat.. then leave too..

then the cat gradually stood up..
n then only we decide to go n hv a look of it..
by the time we went down,
there is another cat there..
purring at me..
well.. those unfriendly purring kind of sound..
n ag, i froze..
i DUNNO la!!!
i just dunno how to handle animals...
n they both just went away..
n we just decide tat.. since it can move d..
shouuuld b ok guua...

pathetic isn't it..
when it comes to situation like this..
i'm still very much bounded by lots of worries n considerations..
bring it home?
no, i dun wan a cat..
wat if it die in my house..
my exam is coming up.. i dun wan to take care of it..

wat will u do, if u were me.

1/3 done

2010-01-15T08:08:00.000-08:00

post-philosophy exam...

there was one philosopher which left me thinking..
for he said, there r 3 stages of human spiritual development:
1. aesthetic
where ppl just pursue for pleasure of sense, for satisfaction.
well.. it seems like quite a number of ppl stucks in this stage isn't it.
2. ethical
where ppl start to think bout how to make a choice. i guess in the sense of where u dun just put urself as the centre of consideration, when there is guilt when u feel u make the wrong choice, or ur choice would somehow lead to some bad consequences to others.
again, there r still quite a number of us, may b intuitively has this in us, or due to family background, education n all..
n i owez thought this is enough..
be a good person..
tat's all.. it's enough..

but then it strucks me there is the 3rd stage
3. religious
where ppl choose to b a sinner in front of God. n humble themselves in front of him.
i dunno.. religion is never my thing. or shud i say i nvr really open my mind to it. just keep on repelling it.
n when i am writing this, i still feel the skeptism in me.
for there r ppl saying, dun judge a religion with its people.
well, mayyyy b.. for God gives us choice, n we human, r the one who owez in dillema of making choices.
n those bad ones tat we c, r those who r making bad choices then.

okie.. dun feel like thinking bout this anymore.. shud start study ! russian n microbe.. ><

move on

2010-01-09T12:23:00.000-08:00

when ppl said dun hold grudge.. just move on..
i wan to..
but i dunno how..

it just doesn't feel the same anymore..
n i dunno how long will it takes for this feelin to fade..
oh, won't u just fade away..

is it tat once u saw the dark side of one, u'll nvr c the bright side ag?
being prejudiced is good, not at all..

but,i've always carry prejudice with me..
sometimes it is easy to let go..
but in this case ..
i think this has carry on too long..

i guess when the trust is lost..
it's hard to gain back isn't it..

to a fren, till one day..

bosanlarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2010-01-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

hmph.......

exam first.. then only vacation..
so. i shud stop thinking bout vacation n start focusing on exam..

but... ><
still failing to do so............

need FORM, MOOD, MOTIVATION..
aikz..

2010-01-05T10:26:00.000-08:00

feel so hard to move on..........

heavy.. heavy steps..

dun even know wat to say..

feels like words can't penetrate that thick skull of urs..

it's shrinking..

missing the moments.

2010-01-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

missing the moments of strolling along the beach..

a brand new year has started .. ag..
i dun really hv any resolution this year..
is tat a good sign? that i'm quite satisfy with wat i hv now..
or that i'm becoming a less motivated person.. keke..

missed my bro by 10 minutes on fb.. grr..
i think i haven't been talking to him in like.. hurm.. a month?

suddenly this little boy is enrollin into college?
WHAT?
really?
u already so big d ar.. haha..

dun forget ur er jie. bluek..

wat a day~

2009-12-22T06:41:00.000-08:00

quite a disasterous day today actually..
but the view today simply breathtakin..
although the consequence is ALL trams not working in the morning..
grr...

after class.. i take a stroll myself taking pictures of things around me..keke..
n i hv to avoid any eye contacts with bypassers, lol..malu ckit ar..

then my sis gv me a sneak peak of Bali trip photos with my papa mommy..

mommy papa..

papa n sis

my sis n mom look alike isn't it..

wait.. show u all smth..
.
..
...
....
.....
......

TADA!!
my mom... keke.. so cute la this pic..

个案2

2009-12-21T08:12:00.001-08:00

是我不解人情吗？

有些人的恋爱态度，真得让我很不解。。
左拥右抱还能觉得自豪的。。

是我误解人家言语之意吗？
毕竟，文字并不带着语气，
个人主观的看解
往往有时扭曲了他人的意思。。

怎么突然觉得
这么多年了
你一点都没变

爱情

2009-12-18T07:02:00.000-08:00

我并不很懂爱。。
但看着身边的人为爱团团转。。
爱情至上，
友情可以搁置一旁。。
口口声声说着，
你是我最要好的朋友。。
到最后呢？
其实，还不是寂寞的想找人陪伴。。
你该疼我，该宠我，
因为我们是好友，不是吗？
付出又付出。。
精神，精力，关怀，钱财，
算得了什么。。
能看到好友开心，比什么都值得。。

噢，
白马王子神不知，鬼不觉，突然出现。。
亮晶晶，魅力非凡，
动心了。。

让我走吧。。
你也想看到我幸福吧。。
好友无言。。
毕竟除了放手，
忍痛祝福，
也总好过闹翻。。

结局？
还等着看。。
不，不，
早已没眼看。。

the -20 day

2009-12-17T05:13:00.000-08:00

have been waiting over 15 minutes for tram this morning, doesn't seems long, but in -20, it wasn't fun either..
din hv a camera with me tat time, but this picture really resembles wat surround me this morning..

everyone in fb is talkin bout it in status..
haha..
some even cursed..
y lar curse bout the weather, kan...
when u dun hv snow in msia, u go oversea..
when there is too much snow for u to handle..
curse pulak..
keke..
human...
was walking with my frens to lecture just now..
surgery class cancelled bcoz the room was too cold..
operation or home?
he gave us the choice..
at first, 3/5 was saying operation..
then..
in the end, go home..
my window was sealed 1/6 by ah yap.. haha..
thanks for the help..
bo huat, not enough duct tape..

it's blessed enough to hv a shelter..
n according to forecast, it ain't goin to b any better tmr..

ironically,
my family is probably sunbathing in Bali..
haha..
can't wait to c their photos when they get back.. ^^

let's hope everyone has smth to warm their heart in this frozen-land..

wee~ london here i come

2009-12-11T09:52:00.001-08:00

hv been quite frus with the trip lately..
lots of hostel problems..
STUPID..
how could u show one price n change it when ppl PRESS BOOK!!
n Hatters Hostel in Manchester demand for card security number in order to confirm my room stay.. WHY????
I'm thinking getting other hostel n let go of my 10%deposit..
Better than risking credit card fraud..
Or is it like wat they say, a STANDARD procedure..
pening ar.. wat to do..

lots of frustration over these stuffs..
trip shud b HAPPY..

anyway,
when i got email from British Airway yesterday reminding me to add additional information.. i bcome all chirpy back..
lalalala...
can't wait..
haha..
girls.. kejap smiling.. kejap merajuk..

my 6th year seniors.. keke

2009-12-07T03:45:00.000-08:00

yijia n ben

so... the 6th years came out with this idea to celebrate bday for these 2 summer babies.. to ganti back all 6 years of not celebrating.. lol.. summer ma...

n the occasion takes place at our place.. meaning.. we hv to do the preparation with her around n yet.. hv to find a way to fool her...
i baked cheesecake.. first attempt for baked cheesecake... although the non bake one fails terribly the day before..*sorry, ganti balik next time*

n when more n more ppl show up at our place.. she came up with this idea tat we were actually celebrating yim's bday.. which is next week..
so.. lies stack on top of lies... we make her believe tat it's actually yim's party..
n then only she went to change *proper* clothes.. haha..

then.. of coz... bday song singing session..
she din realise it at first, we re-sing the song.. lol..
then at last.. she knew we were actually celebrating for her..
keke~
nicole's rendang
mel's fried rice
yim's grill chicken
huey yee's white sauce fish
i've never done surprise party like this.. so much fun.. ^^
n the chatting.. gossiping.. lasts for several hours..

can't wait for our next one.. party ppl.. ^^
ah...full..